I get this question often and the first thing I say is if you're asking the question,
that's your first sign.
Why is this topic important? Because to live a truly amazing life on your terms means you need to take risks, embrace your fears and improve your relationship with change.
You'll never see your true potential, have the deeply fulfilling relationships, or live your true passions if you're scared to make changes or if you simply don't realize that you can. And you weren't born to be mediocre. Lukewarm sucks, you're made for more, so keep reading!
Moody, snappy, low patience, irritable, hiding things from friends/family..
Feeling like a victim, obsessing over the past or over your 'someday' plans, loss of hobbies/interests...
You feel stuck, you know you could do better, you're burned out.
...Just a few super bright shiny red blinking signs saying…🚨change needed now!🚨
We're so resistant to change but what so few of us realize is that change is constantly required in life. It's a GOOD thing (even the hard changes) ! Always upgrading and making tweaks according to your ever-changing wants and needs is how we continue to live our most authentic life.
Today, we're going to help you get the clarity you need. We'll look at the three most common areas in which people struggle to make change: relationships, career, and self.
Relationships: "But, it's fine!" "I'm fine!" I'm actually really happy!" Do you find yourself saying these things more and more but feel they are less and less true?
It's a HARD reality to face. That intuition you have telling you something isn't right or you can do better but your head is saying "he's/she's not like this when it's just us!" "it's not that bad" or "he'll change" or "things could be worse, we could be like so and so!" Ughhhhhh. Been there, done that and I promise you, life is so much better when you decide to make this change.
Other things to look - Are your values aligned? Have you always wanted children but your partner doesn't so now you all of a sudden think kids are a huge inconvenience? Do you value things like quality time and equal share yet you're with someone who makes little time for you and rarely pulls their weight with the household tasks? Are you a homebody and they love to go out to the bar every weekend? Do you value ______ but they _____?
Just some examples, but I think you get the point. It's okay to have different interests, we are all different people! But if there's some big time value contrasts that have you feeling more frustrated than happy, that's a good indication that something needs to change.
Striving for perfection isn't the goal here or anywhere. The goal is making choices that are authentic to you, help you evolve, and bring you closer to what you want in this one life. Your choices with your relationships impact your life deeply.
You deserve the world. Don't settle and definitely don't assume anything is going to change once you're married, or they slow down at work, or they (enter excuse here). Justifying poor behavior is the greatest waste of time!
Work: Ooooo I feel this one big time! Work = our livelihood. We have to pay the bills. Therfore, sometimes, we're a little too scared to make change when it comes to this area in our life. And just an FYI not everyone hate's their jobs! So why should you??
You don't have to start your own biz, you don't have to quit and start all over or do something drastic. But if you're dreading going to work everyday, feeling dissonance, exhausted, or just not yourself everyday that you're there - you have to take a look at that!
Nothing changes if nothing changes. What else can you do? Would it hurt to hop on LinkedIn or contact a recruiter? Would it hurt to explore your passions and see where that goes? Open your mind, step out of the box and see what's out there!
If you're not ready for a career change, then look at yourself. What can you do to feel a little better everyday? How can you enjoy what you do more? What's going well? Try changing the way you look at things, sometimes that all the change we need.
Self: I think we all know the kind of person we want to be. We want to be ourself. Our true self and our best self. If you find that you're becoming a person that you don't like, doing and saying things that just are not in line with who you are and what you want out of life, then it's time to get real with yourself and make some moves!
If you're feeling a lot of stress, tension, acting in ways that just aren't you, then something is off and the best first place to look, is at yourself. We always want to start there, first.
I believe the most important takeaway when it comes to knowing when a change is needed within yourself is this: never stop wondering that. Always ask yourself the good questions: What do I love about myself and what do I want to improve? What's going well that I can build off of? What do I want to do differently? How can I be better tomorrow?
This isn't about dwelling on mistakes made each day or beating yourself up with the could've, should've, would've. No. It's about taking honest looks at yourself each day, deciding who you want to be, how you want to feel, how you want to show up in this world, how you want to make others feel, and acting in alignment with all of those answers.
What change(s) are calling you right now? Will you listen to them? The answers are always within. And how amazing is it to know that you, and only you, know what is best for you and that you always, always have the choice to decide and make a change.