Three reasons you struggle to find balance:May 25, 2022
“I'm not good enough.”
“I’m not doing enough.”
“I’m not enough.”
A decrease in self-worth is on the rise in teachers more than ever and to say that tugs at my heart strings would be an understatement. This is one reason why I created The CFE Method and why my Instagram platform exists.
Think about how radically different the teaching culture would be if each of us acted like we all had inherent value and approached each day from a place that knows exactly what we bring to the table.
When you believe you’re not enough, you’ll always be chasing being enough. And because you already are enough, you’ll be chasing this forever. And what does chasing this look like?
Saying yes to everything, taking work home with you, spending hours on simple tasks (perfectionism), overthinking, negative self-talk, comparing yourself to others, putting others down, controlling outcomes, resisting asking for help, and so much more.
AKA massive work-life imbalance.
And as you know, the demands and expectations of teachers are only growing. So, if you're in a state of chasing enough with no plans to change this, you won't find enough, you'll find burnout.
(ya know the old saying the only thing in life you should ever chase is a shot? Apply that here!)
We can’t ignore the outside challenges that truly put our self-worth to the test but we can stop allowing them to be our excuses. I’ll never focus on these issues but I want you to know that I see you. I’ve been in your shoes, but I'm not here to change the system, I'm here to help you thrive despite the system. I’ll personally never settle for an outside force wrecking my self-worth. Nothing can take that from me unless I let it and my hope is to inspire you to join me in that belief.
I always ask teachers if their beliefs create balance or if their beliefs create more burnout. The belief of "I'm not enough" entirely creates more burnout because if you feel like you're not enough, I'd be willing to bet you have a really hard time setting boundaries with work, with others and with yourself. Boundaries are the key to balance so It's time we get a handle on this so you can live the life you want to be living!
Here’s an example of how “I'm not enough” might manifest in your teacher life:
“I’m not good enough” = the need for perfection/fear of imperfection = Spending hours on a lesson plan that should’ve only taken you 30 minutes, leaving you less time for other things that day.
“I’m not doing enough.” = Saying yes to everything = Stretching yourself SO thin and doing less and less of the things you want to be doing, leaving you with low energy, dissonance between work and personal life, and a disconnection from self.
Low self-worth also shows up in your personal life in the form of relationship problems, jealousy, overworking, comparison, resentment and more.
Now, where does the “I’m not enough” belief come from? What has shaped your sense of self-worth? That's the real question and that’s for you to dig and figure out. But I promise once you do, you can begin tackling the behaviors and actions that are preventing you from creating your ideal reality full of passion, empowerment, and balance.
A couple things to ask yourself:
Were my guardians who raised me hard to please? Or did I always strive for more to win their approval?
What kind of boundaries were modeled to me growing up?
Am I surrounded by judgemental and critical people?
In what ways do I tie my worth to my work?
Was I often picked last for games, friends, social things as a kid?
Am I more focused on what’s wrong than I am on what’s going well?
What am I scared of if I show up imperfectly or say no?
Am I scared to own the fact that I am enough?
What story do I tell myself about being enough?
Take some space to think about those questions. No matter how deep-rooted your belief is, you can free yourself from believing that you’re not enough.
You are enough, you are more than enough but it doesn’t matter what I think about you, what matters is what YOU think about you.
Want help to overcome not feeling enough? Ready to take your sense of self-worth to the next level? Winter round for mentorship is right around the corner! Head to the waitlist to be the first to know when doors open and hear all program deets!